As a father, your job is to make sure that your kids are laughing at your jokes and you always have a hilarious joke in your pocket to just throw out when something goes off in your house.
We know it’s hard to have jokes all the time, which is why we decided to make this article for all the fathers out there that are trying to make their kids happy.
Hilarious Dad Jokes
Here are some of the most hilarious dad jokes that you need to tell your kids:
- “I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.”
- “My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.”
- “Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?” “In case they get a hole in one!”
- “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”
- “What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?” “They’re both Paris sites.”
- “What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
- “How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?” “You follow the fresh prints.”
- “If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?” “Pilgrims.”
- “I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”
- “Dad, can you put my shoes on?” “No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.”
- “Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.”
- “What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?” “Yellow!”
- “This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in.”
- “What kind of car does an egg drive?” “A yolkswagen.”
- “Dad, can you put the cat out?” “I didn’t know it was on fire.”
- “How do you make 7 even?” “Take away the s.”
- “How does a taco say grace?” “Lettuce pray.”
- “What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.”
- “Why didn’t the skeleton climb the mountain?” “It didn’t have the guts.”
Funny Dad Jokes
Here are some funny dad jokes:
- When a toddler reaches the “why?” stage, it’s like opening a bottle of champagne—once it’s uncorked, there’s no going back.
- What do you call two monkeys who share an Amazon Prime account? Prime mates.
- You can’t spell par entry without “try.”
- How do you measure the mass of an influencer’s following? By Instagrams!
- How do you teach kids about taxes? Eat 38% of their ice cream.
- Two sheep walk into a—baaaa.
- What do you call a beehive without an exit? Un-bee-lievable.
- What did the seal with one fin say to the shark? If seal is broken, do not consume.
- I wish my kids weren’t offended by my Frozen jokes. They really need to let it go!
- Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.
- Why can’t a leopard hide? He’s always spotted.
- Air used to be free at the gas station, now it costs 2.50. You want to know why? Inflation.
- I tried to get a smart car the other day but they sold out too fast. Why? I guess I’m just a bit slow.
- I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine: we just get better with age. The next day she locked me in the cellar.
Are you planning to use these jokes with your children? Let us know what your plans are by leaving a comment in the comments section below!
